I am a white passing mother raising a non passing son.

I am a white passing mother raising a son who will never pass as white.  My family's story includes a heritage of French, German and English ancestry, but I am also Hispanic and native. I am proud to be multi-ethnic,  but I can certainly pass as white depending on which parent I am standing with or how I carry myself. I have learned how to navigate situations to play to privilege, color - other or join at my discretion. As a child or teen, I maybe didn't understand how to do this, but society certainly allowed me opportunities to perfect this skill.

My son is all of me.... And, he is also black. He comes from a rich history of Creole ancestry, has the burden of not knowing his true African roots, and the privilege of being a member of a truly vibrant culture. He will never pass as white. He may on some days, to some people, pass as "not black," but he is most certainly a person of color. He is perfect. 

What does that mean for him in this world today? What does that mean for me as his parent? I am a essentially a white mother raising a person of color. 

Glowing, giggling toddler

My glowing, giggly toddler walks into a room assuming everyone will love him. And they do! We cant go anywhere, run a single errand, without a handful of people coming up to him and joyfully meeting him. Every day I hear how beautiful he is, how curly he is, how smart he is, how talkative he is. He is not a threat to them. He is a beautiful, curious nonthreatening baby boy.  But, how long will that last?

In America we are taught that black men are scary, violent, and even predatory. They are seen as a threat before they are even men. Then we wonder why some of them become the predators we make them out to be. The NY Times featured an amazing, heartbreaking video. It essentially covered the lessons we as parents, black or not, must teach our black sons.

Lesson 1: The police are not your friend. 

Lesson 2: Some people wont like you and it has nothing to do with who you are. 

Lesson 3: You are more than what they expect you to be.

It broke my heart.

Please vote. Please take a stand.

I was innocent for longer than most of my friends. I played with Barbies until sixth grade. I was the last of my friends to wear make up and I still enjoyed watching Barney and Mr. Rogers for far longer than I care to admit. My mother wanted to maintain my innocence and childhood as long as she could and it served me well. My internal struggle now is realizing that I cant necessarily take that same tact with my son. I cant maintain his innocence longer than the moment society begins to see him as a threat. How heavy is that?

My son was luckily born into a powerful black family that can help model to him that he gets to define his own self worth and not his oppressors. He was also born into a time where the number of interracial marriages and mixed race children are at an all time high. We have had Obama! But, we have also had Trump. We estimate by 2050 America will be considered the mixed race future, but we also have a need for the Black Lives Matter movement... 

My only wish is that we are able to make a change in our society before I have to teach my son those unfortunate lessons mentioned above. Please join me in making a difference, everyday.