A generational response to gun violence

The Santa Fe High School shooting occurred only hours from my home and marks the second nationally recognized massacre to occur near me of recent (The first was the "Texas Church" shooting in the small town of Sutherland Springs).  I posted on Facebook my very real consideration for home schooling my son. "I don't take my child to dangerous environments and its starting to feel like schools are a hub for violence" I replied to my singular protester. The rest of the responses were overwhelmingly in agreement. My fellow mommy community seemed to share the same fears and were also seriously considering home schooling as a way to keep their children safe. And why wouldn't they. Today is May 19th and there have been 22 mass shootings.... No, not this year... this MONTH alone! (SOURCE)

77 year old Grandmother

This morning, I was meeting with my Grandmother who was born in 1941. She is an avid reader but doesn't care much for following the news. I regularly update her on major events and today was no different. We talked about the royal wedding and the Santa Fe shooting, but the shooting absolutely shocked her. Her face was of utter disbelief and she almost started to cry. I mentioned it almost like a grocery shopping list reading and realized in that moment she was about to cry. I imagine this is how I used to feel back in 1999 when school shootings felt unthinkable.

I grew up with guns. Our family is in complete support of gun ownership. We spent our falls hunting, our summers target shooting and some of our most sentimental family heirlooms included my Grandfather's rifles. Guns were something you respected, used responsibly, and kept secure. Upon telling my Grandma about the Santa Fe shooting, she was so confused as how one person could shoot that many people so quickly. I then realized that in hearing this story, my grandmother was picturing a student using a hunting rifle to commit these crimes. And why wouldn't she? That is how I grew up. That was the original purpose of the 2nd amendment. To allow families to bear arms in support of their own personal protection, protest and survival. It was not designed to protect an individual's right to collect high magazine sporting rifles as a matter of hobby or even worse, arm their plan for mass assault.

This should not be the last of our innocence.

When I advised my grandmother that now you can buy rifles that have a high magazine capacity and are semi automatic, she looked at me like the younger generation was completely out of their mind. And we are. That look was well deserved.

"I always felt, eventually it was going to happen here too" Paige Curry (17), a Santa Fe Shooting Survivor explained expectantly of the day's massacre (SOURCE).

We have allowed this to happen to our children. They are essentially expectant of the possibility of a school shooting with about the same apathy as we may have felt about car accidents growing up. Guilty, I find myself scrolling through Facebook and mass casualty usually only gets a small portion of my attention as I find the next video of a friend's newly crawling baby. I too have apathy. My heart goes out to Paige Curry, the Santa Fe families, and all of our youth. My son was born in 2015. What will he say? What will he think about gun violence? Is this really what we want normalized for our children? I want him to have the same innocence as my Grandmother and be raised with the same respect and boundaries for firearms as me.

Enjoying the bounty of Spring in Texas

To learn more about gun control policy options and opinions visit: https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/28/gun-control-polling-parkland-430099

Being Naked

From: www.istockphoto.com

It all started with our fertility treatments.  I had to get vaginal sonograms several times a month and inseminated regularly. This meant a number or people were regularly all up in my business. Then labor and childbirth for me was a naked experience. It just needed to happen that way... Then nursing. Nursing meant my body was no longer my own. Instead of nourishing me and thinking of me, my  body was doing everything it could to produce liquid gold for a baby who certainly thought my body was just an extension of his. This meant boobs out all hours of the day. And, the story continues... If I wanted to shower, like really shower without a screaming baby in the background, baby was in the tub with me. More than I care to admit, going to the restroom meant holding a baby on my lap.  Sometimes my opportunity to get dressed, or halfway into getting dressed, would be interrupted by an impending baby need. I know all of you moms can relate. Being naked is just a much bigger part of my life as a mom. 

My son has two older cousins. By older, I mean 2 and 3 years older. A year ago, when they were 1, 3 and 4 we would just throw them all in the tub together during family visits. They loved bath time. Bubbles and boats with cousins were precious memories. A year later, they were 2, 4 and 5 and without discussion, we no longer presented the option of cousin baths. The 5 year old was now concerned about modesty, closing the door, and very communicative about making sure people did see my son's business during diaper changes.

Growing up in my house modesty and privacy were taught at a very young age and enforced. I can't even remember bathing with my brother who is 14 months younger than me. My partner on the other hand grew up in a household of 9 siblings where modesty was simply not even technically possible. Still to this day, nakedness with her sisters is not even noticed.  

I know norms surrounding nakedness, boundaries and modesty are very different across the world? It can be attributed to culture or even family.  But, is it something that happens naturally? Does a family settle into a norm that moves and changes as children age and grow without conscious thought?  Or is it something thought out and planned? Do you directly correlate milestones and delineate by gender? 

When do you stop bathing with child? 

Is it a different rule for Moms vs. Dads?

When do siblings stop bathing together?

When is it no longer acceptable for your child to see you naked?

When is it no longer appropriate to see your child naked?

Do these boundaries even exist in your family?

I thought it would be fun to here what other moms have to see. I am sure there is a range that would be an interesting point for discussion.