As many of you may know, I am no longer a first-time mom. I originally thought that the second round of parenthood would be more or less the same as the first... but apparently, the process doesn't "repeat" itself. From conception, to pregnancy, to labor and delivery, nothing was comparable to the first round and my second pregnancy clearly established itself as its own whole new experience. Part of this may likely have been because my first born was a singleton and my second pregnancy was twins! But, I think many Mom-ease could relate to the following:
1) Conception: Our children are conceived with the help of fertility treatments. We tried several things with our first born and finally found a combo that resulted in our pregnancy. Come second round we thought we just had to repeat that same magical combo. NOT! Turns out, my body wanted a whole new magical combo that was unfortunately a lot more expensive. I think many woman experience differences in their fertility with each attempt (planned and unplanned).
2) Pregnancy: The pregnancy for each trimester was not even comparable. This was largely due to carrying twins, but I am sure many moms can relate to showing sooner, different early pregnancy symptoms and variations in morning sickness. For me, my firstborn gave me morning sickness for 5.5 months and then it returned again at about 35 weeks. My second pregnancy gave me a much shorter period of morning sickness which ended at about 12 weeks. The third trimester however, was like nothing I have ever done (or would like to do again...). That was hard!
3) Labor and Delivery: My labor with my singleton was textbook. Looooong, but progressed in regularly intervals over the course of 25 hours. Contractions became regular, increased in severity, and finally it was time to push. With the twins, my labor was so inconsistent. Contractions took place over 16 days, but were extremely irregular and varied in severity and intensity. In fact, it wasn't until I was dilated to 8 that I was even confident I was in active labor. I had back labor with my first and thankfully not with my second; therefore, labor with my son was immeasurably more painful. Many woman share that their labor the second time around is easier and I would have to agree.
4) Postpartum Recovery: Wow! The first time around, I was completely unprepared. I didn't know that I should expect bleeding for weeks. I didn't consider that I wouldn't feel confident sitting, that my boobs would be leaking, or that I wouldn't be able to use toilet paper. I was just sore and confused. With my twins, I immediately felt relief. Even the postpartum pain and bleeding while painful - still felt better than being 40 weeks pregnant with twins. The recovery period was much quicker too. I was taking steps and chasing my toddler within a few days. This did not happen with my first.
5) Hormones: Its not until now, two months postpartum with twins that I realize I likely had postpartum depression or anxiety with my first born. I chalked it up to "baby blues," lack of sleep, and nursing hormones. I thought all moms felt that way and it would just take time to recovery. It wasn't until my twins that I realize I didn't "need" to feel that way. In fact, I feel great! Ironically, I am an Licensed Clinical Social Worker and treat clients with Postpartum depression and anxiety. Apparently, that didn't mean I would recognize it in myself.
Overall, my girls require me to be a different kind of parent than my son did. Im sure this has to do with birth order (now I have a toddler to consider), that they are multiples (I just cant technically practice attachment parenting in the same way - I don't have enough hands!), and their personalities. All three kids need me to be a different kind of mom with them. So while, I am familiar with the technical stuff from round one, in many ways its a whole new experience again.
To motherhood!
