Anxious Kids During Shelter in Place

My son...... like lots of littles, has had anxiety about the novel coronavirus. Some days he doesn’t remember or even care and then other days, it’s the only thing on his mind. For example, recently he was confident that one of my 11 month old was saying “coronavirus” and he was too anxious to play in the backyard - insisting on staying inside. Its devastating as a parent because as much as we wanted to protect our children from trauma and the reality of the harshness of our world, we couldn't prevent it from coming to him anyway. I was hoping to protect Little Bear a bit longer, but the drastic changes to his life ruled that impossible. 

Staying home is great! He loves that! He could do that all day and not notice. Good days include playing in the sand pit, kiddie pool and cars. Its when we added in virtual classrooms, limitations on Grandma's visits, and walks where we have to maintain social distancing that it started to not feel like a normal vacation.

Normally, kids stay home from school when they are sick. I didn't realize this at first, but that meant that Little Bear thought we were in Shelter in Place because he had COVID-19. He thought he wasn't allowed to go to school because he was sick. He refused to eat because he didn't want to feed the coronavirus and he drank lots of water so he could "pee it out." He then started transferring his anxiety onto benign things that never bothered him before. Bugs became a central fear. They were something tangible that he could project onto. If we as adults are having difficulty processing and coping during this time, how can we expect a 4 year old to?

I had to come up with some solutions. First, my kid thrives on information. He does not do well without the who, what, when, where, why and hows..... Also, throughout his childhood, we have always used books to supplement material. Books bring an external voice to content that can reinforce a message. However, nothing specific existed yet. How could it? A pandemic to this level has not happened in over 100 years and has certainly never happened during a period with such dependence on international trade, travel, social media and the Center for Disease Control. 

We started teaching the power of social distancing, that these changes in our household were acts of love - to protect not only ourselves but our loved ones. We empowered him as a scientist. He had tools at his disposal to stay safe: washing his hands, drinking water and taking his vitamins.  We made as many connections as possible: virtual play dates, dinner dates via face time, pen pals, drive by visits and lots of extra love. We gave power to magic. The magic of prayer, the magic of love, the magic of time. Lastly, we acknowledge the grief process that both him and everyone else was experiencing. We normalized the anger, the denial, the sadness.... reinforcing that even though his world has turned upside down, this to shall pass.