Two Week Wait

Every woman has had the dreadful experience of the "two week wait." Two week wait refers to the time between your ovulation and your scheduled menstruation.  For those eagerly awaiting a pregnancy or nail biting over the outcome of an"oopsie," those two weeks can feel like they drag on foreeeeeeeeeeeevvveeerrrrr. If you're anything like me, those two weeks are full of magnified self examination of both physical and emotional symptoms. I would search for the tiniest clue to see if Aunt Flow was truly on her way or if the first little signs of our very own Baby Bear were peeking through.

Here is the thing.... While, it may seem impossible, putting it out of your mind is the best thing you can do. Very, very early pregnancy symptoms and menstruation symptoms are exactly the same. No women's PMS is the same every month and no women's early pregnancy symptoms are the same every pregnancy.  They are both your body's response to a surge of very similar female hormones. There are tons of articles detailing the "Very Early Signs of Pregnancy." They include: Bloating, Cramps, Discharge, blah, blah, blah... Get me drift? Hello! You just described PMS. And those early pregnancy tests... Sheesh! Even if you get a negative result, you're not going to believe it until your period arrives. So why waste the money and heartache?

My family relied on fertility treatments to get our Little Bear here and in our arms.  Fertility treatments certainly take the fun out of "making a baby." They are very scheduled, regimented, sometimes painful, and expensive.  We made 10 attempts before getting our positive test and let me tell you, it was the time I "stopped caring" and quit self examining that I had a successful try. I literally said to myself, "I can't keep planning my life around this." I am someone who springs into action right away, so I made a major job change, enjoyed caffeine again, and bought new clothes (in my current size) all while completely ignoring my body.

I swear to you.... it was after those two weeks I found out I was pregnant. And, ironically I knew I was pregnant because I had a complete absence of any symptoms.

My point of this entry is more for the Mama Bears. You are not alone. That two week wait is crazy for any woman and something we rarely ever talk about.  It takes time to make perfect, don't give up and don't drive yourself crazy with micromanaging your own body.

The Drag Queen Who Said "Thank You"

July 1st, 2017 was San Antonio's Pride Parade.  San Antonio is a liberal city, but we are also a Texan city, and a city snuggled up to the Mexican border. This creates a great mix of culture and tradition and a wide variance in political/social views. Our city's Pride has grown over the past few years and has gone from being a small blip on the heteros' radar to a sought after, family-friendly event.

Our Little Bear is 19 months old and this year marked his second San Antonio Pride Parade. This year was much more exciting for him. He not only could hold up his own head, he could wave a rainbow flag (vigorously); surely annoying those sitting next to us and titillating all who walked by.  Little Bear was having a blast! He saw lots of "bikes," cool floats, bright lights, enjoyed loud music, and just soaked in an overall atmosphere of celebration and acceptance.

As one float passed by a Drag Mother (a senior Drag Queen) pointed at my son. She mouthed "thank you." Put her hands to her heart and gave and angelic and sincere grin.

Every mom is familiar with the almost expected compliments for their child's "gorgeousness and brilliance," but a sincere "thank you" gave me pause.... I looked around and realized what this view must look like from that float. A Queen from the Harvey Milk generation was looking down at a community of gay and straight families alike.  My son, our next generation, was being raised with the idea that being LGBTQ was not only okay, but worth celebrating. During the Trump Era, this exchange was worth noting.

We may not always feel like we have control over our political environment, but we certainly have an immeasurable ability to introduce a better world to our next generation. A generation where love and acceptance is the norm. This thought, this moment, that thank you, was a powerful one.      

Skinny Baby can be Healthy Baby too.

My man was forced to be sedentary in utero (lol, just not enough room to party), so he was born in the 70% for weight. The moment he was born he held up his head and turned it to meet his family. He rolled over at two weeks and was one of those rare babies who loved tummy time. Everything physical was/is exciting and fun. 

Little Bear has a fantastic appetite. Nursing was a breeze from day one and my supply came quickly and easily. We nursed his first year and he introduced food to himself at 4.5 months. We were sitting by a fruit bowl and he pulled out a banana and ate each delicious bite like he had discovered the forbidden fruit. 

Little Bear still loves meal times; yet, for the last 15 months we have struggled to stay on the birth chart. This of course brings on all kinds of anxieties for a new mom. Ironically, Little Bear always looked the same size as other babies in his play groups. Come to find out, many of his friends were also struggling to stay on the chart. Little Bear has also always worn his age appropriate size. He wore 3-6 month clothing when he was 3-6 months old, and so on, yet parents seem to norm being a size bigger than your little ones age....

In a world where chubby baby = healthy baby, skinny babies can make a new mom nervous. In our 17 months, here is what I have learned:

- Some babies are skinny and that's healthy for them. As long as there is a steady growth and nutrition levels are normal (i.e. Iron, etc) it is likely that baby is healthy. 

- There is a nursing vs formula growth chart and the nursing chart shows slightly slower weight gains than the formula chart. 

- The growth chart has been revised several times to include new weight and data statistics, however, we are also in the era where childhood obesity is on the rise and indicators and nutrition habits can start as early as infancy. 

- Skinny babies should always work towards weight gain, but not stress over it. The weight gain goal is not because he or she is too small, but to create a weight cushion if he or she ever gets sick which will result in additional weight loss. 

- Skinny baby does not mean tiny adult. The only trend proven is that skinny baby tends to mean healthy adult. 

- Not all babies experience their major growth spurts at the same time as other babies. Some are late bloomers and as a result will fall behind on the chart only to catch up in toddler or school age years.

Chubby babies are adorable! Who doesn't love a rolly, juicy, baby thigh.... but a Skinny baby is also adorable. The active, mini toddler-like build, is just as lovable. 

Cloth Diapers for First Timers

I'm an economically minded human. I have never been seduced by designer brands. I believe its basically a scam making me pay extra for someone else to tell me what's cool. I prefer to treasure hunt, problem solve and create.  So, naturally my approach to motherhood would hold true to those principles.  I knew from the beginning that cloth diapers were going to be part of my parenting plan. It would save money, be better for the environment, and the designs were so cute. The shopping was the easy part, but figuring out a system once my Little Bear was here took a little more support. Here are 7 tips that helped me through the process.
 1) Wait on the umbilical cord. Our midwife suggested we use disposables until the umbilical cord fell off. She shared that many of the moms that insisted on cloth diapers from the beginning had higher rates of infection.
 2) One size fits all, does not fit all. Honestly, the adjustable diapers are amazing and you certainly get your moneys worth, but they don't really button down to a newborn size. This worked great for us considering our midwife's feedback regarding the umbilical cord anyway. We decided to do newborn disposables until our baby's but grew into a size 1 diaper. Then we adjusted the snaps as he grew. 
 3) There is no line! When do I change it? So yes, many disposables have this great line that turns color when it times to change your Little Bears diaper and guess what, the cloth diapers do not. Instead, start by changing at least the liner every 2 hours until you learn your babies pattern.
 4) How do you rinse the byproduct? So, now you have a dirty diaper..... and I mean #2 dirty! First, dump the solid into the toilet and flush. Then place the diaper face down in the clean toilet water and flush again. As more new water enters the bowl shake and move the diaper in the flow to give it a good rinse. If this isn't a good fit for you, there are hoses you can attach to your toilet for about $20.00 or you can drop the solid in the toilet and use the bath tub water to rinse the diaper.
 5) If I choose cloth, do I have to only do cloth to get my moneys worth? Some moms are hardcore and do 100% cloth all of the time. I am not that mama. When I am home, we are 100% cloth, but when I am out and about, we use disposables. Also, as my Little Bears bladder grew, we ended up transitioning to disposables during the night as well. A disposable can hold a full night of pee and a cloth most likely will require a minimum of one changing. You will find what path works best for you.  Price wise, its still worth it. Here is why, 1) Most of our cloth diapers were purchased from our registry (the gift that keeps on giving!), 2) Your cloth diapers can last through more than one kid, 3) If you do my version of cloth and disposables, you are still using way more cloth and make your disposable pack last a lot longer.  
 6) How do I wash them? This is really up to you and your philosophies. Some moms do an all natural soap with a rinse cycle on cold and then a wash cycle on hot.  I did this for a while, until I was over the whole "new-mom-no-chemicals-near-my-baby" phase. Now, I simply throw them in the washer with laundry soap and wash them on our longest cycle on hot. Every few weeks, I do a bleach load on the liners to give them an extra cleanse.
 7) Extra perk! You wont need swim diapers.... EVER! Cloth diapers are perfect for the pool, river, where ever you and your little one swim. You will never need to buy swim diapers. Overall, there are so many different brands and types of cloth diapers. All-in-Ones vs pockets, snaps vs. velcro, etc.  The good news is you don't have to commit to just one method. Buy a variety. There is no harm in having options. We started our collection off with about 12 diapers and 30 liners (most diapers come with 2 liners). This bunch lasts us about 2-3 days depending on my Little Bear's age. You will find what works best for you over time. Happy diapering!

Little Bear with his Bestie. Photo by: Tedeye Photography

10 Tips for Weaning

Congratulations on successfully nursing your Little Bear, whether you made it 3 months or 3 years, the weaning process can be confusing and full of emotion.  These 10 mommy tested tips should help make the process a little easier, regardless if your Little Bear or you are taking the lead. 1) Begin eliminating the easiest feedings first and leave the most crucial for last. If baby is self weaning, the same recommendation applies and includes not offering the boob for unsolicited feeding sessions. 2) Plan to eliminate one feeding every 2-4 days with the goal of officially weaning in approximately 4-6 weeks. 3) Once a feeding has been removed from your daily routine, do not introduce it back. 4) Work to increase other soothing techniques, patting, singing, rocking, etc. 5) Ask for help. Your Little Bear may need some positive distraction from Mommy's boob. This is a great time for another caregiver to try laying baby down for naps or soothing through an injury. 6) The daytime nap can be a hard feeding to wean but using a car or swing to tire baby out is a super handy trick. After a few days, your Little Bear wont ask anymore for that feeding. 7) When engorged, self express or pump just enough to take the pressure off. You don't want to empty your breast because that will encourage continued production. 8) A warm cloth or bath will help with sore breasts. Massage out clogged or full ducts. Ibrophen may also be helpful. 9) As your supply reduces, Mommy's hormones will change and for many this can cause another round of "baby blues." Just be mindful and practice self care. 10) There are natural supplements that can help decrease your supply, for example parsley, peppermint, sage, etc. Also, certain over the counter medications like Benadryl can also decrease your supply. This wont be necessary for most, but if you are weaning over a shorter period of time (less than 4-6 weeks), you may need some extra help. Good luck on your weaning process and welcome to this next phase of Mommy-hood!

Photo by Mary Larsen Silvermoon Photography San Antonio

Weaning, The Emotional Journey

July 2016
Silver Moon Photography
Photographer: Mary Larsen
http://www.silvermoonphotography.com/

Nursing my Little Bear has so far been the most rewarding, simplifying and exhausting part of parenting.  The bond is like no other.  The increased Oxycontin, delayed menstruation, and effortless calorie burning are some of the more selfish perks. The boob solved everything for us! Hungry, sleepy, bored, thirsty, hurt, scared, sick, even flying.... here, magical boob will fix it.  But man, can it be exhausting. The cluster feedings, growth spurts, biting episodes, and just endless drain of energy and nutrients sometimes left me feeling like a shell of myself.

At 12 months, we were ready to begin the weaning process. I could have easily nursed longer, but Little Bear preferred nursing over all other foods and he was needing to gain some weight. Magical boob fixed everything for us, except weight gain. I apparently had a low fat milk supply and meal times (real food) were becoming an art experiment as he waited for his desert (nursing).  Surprisingly, the idea of weaning triggered a grief process for me. I was in denial about needing to wean and angry the doctor even suggested it. I began bargaining with myself which nursing sessions I could keep and I even became depressed that this magical bond that only Little Bear and I shared would soon be coming to an end. My response surprised me because frankly, I nursed much longer than I thought I was going to and it became much more important to me than I ever thought it would be. My initial motivations may have been selfless (i.e. it was better for baby and would save our household money) but, I never thought I would get so much in return.  Well, I finally traveled to acceptance and in true Mom-ease Bear fashion, I began my research binge. If we were going to wean, we were going to do it with the least amount of discomfort and disruption for both Little Bear and Mommy Bear.

To my surprise, I received very consistent and overlapping advice. I talked to our pediatrician, a specialized nurse, my midwife, a breastfeeding advocate, a nutritionalist and the other moms in my life.  My nerves melted away as a plan started to formulate.  We worked the plan and Little Bear successfully weaned without much disruption in about 5 weeks. We were able to do the holidays, birthdays and continue with everyday life too during the process. I of course got a second round of baby blues (the change in hormones got me again), but it was short lived and manageable.

I think my biggest fear was that I would lose "that" special bond.... I mean, I know I am his Mom and nothing will ever replace that, but I was literally the only one who could nurse him. I was the only one with the magical boob... Turns out, it wasn't just the boob that was magical. Being a Mom is magical all on its own and we developed new fixes for hungry, sleepy, bored, thirsty, hurt, scared, sick, and even flying..... My personal favorite being that Little Bear is much more cuddly now. Previously, any hugs or cuddles would quickly sink into nursing position and Little Bear asking for a snack. Now, I get to enjoy long and heartfelt hugs with no begging.

The purpose of this blog entry was really just to acknowledge my emotional transition in the hopes it reaches another Mommy who may be feeling similarly.  Motherhood. Isn't it just an amazing mind trip?!?! I love being a Mom,  but it can be hard.  Well, anyways... hope this helps. Stay tuned because my next entry will certainly include those tips and tricks that I learned and helped make weaning painless.

Weight Gain Lassi

My Little Bear is blessed with a fast metabolism. While it will certainly serve him when he is older, its not so great for baby weight gain in those early years. It is important for a baby to steadily gain weight in order to give the body a cushion in the case of future illness, teething issues causing avoidance of food, and to promote growth.

Our pediatrician initially recommended that we begin the name brand weight gaining shakes. Upon further research, I became very uneasy about this option. Often, the first or second ingredient was sugar! As for the rest, I literally could not pronounce a single other ingredient. It was a far stretch from the healthy, diverse diet of fresh and organic fruits and vegetables that we had introduced as his first foods.

There had to be another option...... I didn't want to force feed my baby who had a healthy appetite and relationship with food and I didn't want to just "fatten him up" on sugar and synthetic ingredients.  This is where the lassi came in, a traditional milkshake often shared in East Indian cuisine. With a few small adaptions, we had a "Little Bear Milkshake." Its high in calories and nutrition, low cost, and easy to make.

Ingredients:

8 oz of whole milk
4 oz of mango baby puree
1/2 cup of whole milk yogurt (plain or vanilla) or 2/3 cup of Greek yogurt
Add cinnamon to taste
Optional: local honey to taste

Benefits:

Mango	Whole Milk	Yogurt	Greek Yogurt
1 cup	1 cup	½ cup	2/3 cup
107 calories	146 calories	75 calories	130 calories
2.8 grams of protein	7.86 grams of protein	4.25 grams of protein	11 grams of protein
	Total	328 calories	383 calories
	Total	14.91 calories	21.66 grams

The lassi is also full of calcium, omegas 3-6, potassium, selenium, magnesium, and high in vitamins A, B, C, E, K. Also, cinnamon and honey add anti-fungal and antibacterial qualities, natural enzymes, and help to aid digestion, stabilize blood sugars, and build defense against local allergens.  

Directions: Just toss all of the ingredients in your blending agent of choice and Viola! You're done. We didn't want to replace any meals. We wanted to add calories to his day. So we blend at the start of our day and sip the lassi through a straw periodically as we play. One batch of the above makes two drinks for my 12 month old. We did one a day and within two weeks we had gained two pounds.

I have to admit, I sometimes drink the second drink myself. It's just that yummy. This Little Bear Milkshake is both baby and mommy approved.

Enjoy!