Tricky People and Safety Planning

Contributing Writer: Devin Rojas of New Jersey

Children don’t benefit if they’re taught to be afraid of the world. The point of teaching tricky people over stranger dangers is to teach children to read situations and people and know how to act accordingly.  Child are still left at risk if we limit our lesson to stranger danger and limit our safety planning to "running away" or "not talking to strangers." Those solutions just don't get to the heart of the highest risk.

Approaching safety conversations from a tricky people perspective:

• Helps a child understand the red flags of a dangerous person

• Gives them a chance to ask questions and practice scenarios

• Opens a dialogue with the parent’s about the nature of the child's relationships. 

These ongoing conversations will give a child the tools they will need to keep safe if they ever encounter a sex offender.

Part of teaching tricky people is also deciding what will be done once a tricky person has been identified. Teaching children to develop a safety plan is such an important part of life. They already learn this skill when they’re mapping out fire exists in first grade, so now we just translate that to interpersonal safety. 

1) Is this a tricky person who’s contact I can control as a parent? Such as a neighbor or friend’s parent? Then I can just move play dates to my house. 

2) Is this a tricky person who’s contact I can’t control, such as a teacher or coach? Then maybe I need to increase my presence as the school, and have my kids put the buddy system in place. 

A lot of what we look for in tricky people may not be "reportable," but we can still safety plan though.  

Tricky people reinforces your child listening to their gut instincts regarding a person or relationship. Children can talk to their friends about that person and make a pact to never be alone with that tricky person. They can look out for each other and make sure other children aren’t being pulled in. With the most important piece being that an adult is aware that this tricky person makes a child feel uncomfortable. 

Photo by: http://www.jessfielderphotography.com/